To keep your relationship healthy and happy, it is advisable to stay away from the following words.
1. “Man up.” This phrase is never, ever appropriate. He is a man. If he’s not meeting your expectations, learn to communicate this clearly and without insult.
2. “We need to talk.” Yes, you should talk to your man. No, you should not warn him that you need to talk about something yet-to-be-described that will likely be uncomfortable. This phrase is the most likely to shift him into defensive mode. Try a more loving approach and you will surely get better results.
3. “Size doesn’t matter.” If size doesn’t matter, don’t talk about size.
4. “Is she prettier than me?” Or “Do I look fat in this dress?” If the question you are asking him has only one acceptable answer – and if a too-long pause in responding will only feed your insecurities – just trust that his answer would have been the right one and don’t bother to ask it.
5. “You’re just like my ex.” Or “I have had someone better.” You don’t want to be compared to his exes, so don’t compare him to yours. Even if he comes out on top, it’s still an awkward comparison.
6. “Are you really that silly?” Be careful not to use language that belittles your guy. Treat him with respect, even when you are angry or disappointed.
7. “Never mind. I will do it myself.” Don’t dismiss the offers of help from your man. A common love language is an act of service. Don’t deny him the opportunity to serve you. Sometimes it’s nice to feel needed.
8. “I can’t live without you.” Use desperate language with caution, and stay clear of phrases that sound clingy in early stages of the relationship. Let him take the lead when it comes to commitment and promises of a future together.
9. “I am not your mother.” Or “I am just like my mother.” Keep your moms out of it, unless you are actually talking about patterns learned from your respective families of origin.
10. “Nothing is wrong.” Yes, it is. He can’t read your mind. If something is wrong, tell him what’s wrong.
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