Will Smith’s wife writes on her Facebook page
Should
I stay with a mate after she or he has cheated on me? (This is not
referring to habitual cheaters. That is a different matter.)
This
is a very personal choice, and there is no right or wrong answer. If
your partner is remorseful and is willing to work it out, I would
suggest trying to look at it from this vantage point. My observation has
been that when most people cheat, they are trying to solve a problem.
They are usually in some kind of emotional trouble or confusion that they believed the cheating would relieve. What’s interesting is that most of the time the cheating has nothing to do with YOU.
Now
the question becomes, are you willing to put all ego aside and reach
for some deep compassion to try to figure out what the trouble is, and,
as partners, try to solve it? Know this, if someone has cheated on you
who truly loves you, they have hurt themselves as much as they have hurt
you.
This
makes for a great opportunity to deepen the relationship with thorough
honesty, which creates deeper respect with some serious setting of
boundaries. This is also when love gets real and true and illuminates
what you are made of as a couple and as individuals.
Situations
like these could be the windows to a deeper commitment OR… to two
separate paths on the way to look for new partners. Only the unique
nature of your specific relationship can be the telling factor.
Is he or she worth it?
Express
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