There is the general belief that single-hood is a mark of incompleteness and that marriage should be one of the foremost desires of mature but unmarried youths whether they have achieved their lives’ purposes or not . But, with this piece, I come to debunk this false general belief, with an attempt to make you see that single-hood is arguably the best stage in a man’s life.
Unfortunately, even our religious institutions have been crusading the spread of this obnoxious ‘gospel’ which I wish to term an ‘unwholesome truth’ and one that paints marriage as a most colourful institution. Worse, these crusaders do not slack in throwing their weight behind any intending couple, leaving the young unmarried people wondering if anyone is ever interested in them if they are not making plans to be married. What about my life’s purpose and destiny?
Take this as a product of fact; Marriage could be one of the most destructive decisions you would make if you go in without maximising the immense opportunities that single-hood offers. It ends your life’s ambition if your partner does not fit into that purpose you were created to fulfil in life. You could end up being disconnected from success, end up never making it in life and become a wreck to your world.
If you are of the belief system that marrying would make you complete and fulfilled, you are living in a fool’s paradise. You do not need marriage to be complete. God never implied that Adam was not complete. There is a wide margin between being complete and needing a companion and you need to get that right. Every man is created complete by God because God created man in His Own Image. You must take it as a responsibility to yourself to map out your goals in life and passionately work to achieve them.
I quote Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7vs8; “I say therefore to the unmarried and widows, it is good for them if they abide even as I”. Paul was single and that had a tremendous impact on his ministerial success. However, he did not imply to be understood as saying marriage should be forbidden but only points to the fact that single hood is a great advantage in the race for self-fulfillment.
There are myriads of prospects that can only be effectively maximized when there are no responsibilities of marriage or relationship in a man’s life. The moment you enter into the world of marriage, you lose certain freedom and rights to some things. Your time and life have to be shared with your partner for as long as you both live.
God never said you must marry. He never said single-hood is sin, otherwise, Apostle Paul would not qualify to be a minister of the gospel of Christ. However, God’s desire for you is that you fulfil the purpose He designed you for.
According to research, the greatest source of stress in human life is relationships. It comes with a burden that slows down the wheel drive of success if entered in at the wrong time. You owe yourself the debt of discovering who you are, your purpose and the earnest pursuit of that purpose. You must work on the development of your own life. You must add quality to yourself as a single; that is one sure way to have a blissful marriage.
Develop your capacity; earn good academic degrees (if you are a student) before you start thinking marriage because you wouldn’t have time for these things if you go into marriage. Do not buy the idea that that marrying is the key to a good, happy life. You might just want to ask a married person and have him/her give you their honest reply as to how life in marriage is. It is not a bed of roses and it’s worse if you haven’t discovered and started operating at your maximum frequency.
If you go into marriage because you are feeling lonely, you might just be discovering too late that it is not a guaranteed cure nor does it assure companionship. One of the worst feelings known to man is the feeling of loneliness in marriage because it is supposed to be a panacea to that feeling.
You thought marriage was your best bet in solving your loneliness problem but you then discover after marriage that your partner is not there to fill that gap at the level you so desperately want them to.
God wants you to believe in and make the best use of your single-hood stage of life and do not allow anyone put you in a pressure cooker when you are not self-fulfilling.
Dismiss the societal idiosyncrasy that remaining unmarried after you clock twenty-five is a sign of delay and misfortune. After all, of what benefit is a poor, unfulfilled life to a marriage union. And who wants to marry such a man/woman? It would only lead to contempt, disharmony, dissatisfaction and ultimately divorce.
And God said, “I hate putting away” Why rush into marriage then? Why get into marriage without securing your future and eventually find out you are stuck with the wrong person for life? I know you don’t want this. There is the saying that “it is better to be alone for the rest of your life than to be with the wrong person for minute”. Have you ever thought about this?
You know why God is keeping many people away from marriage (even though they are constantly praying to find a life partner)? He is protecting other people from them. God knows you are not ready for it because you don’t even know who you are yet. Have you ever asked yourself the following questions? “If I were to choose a man/woman for a life partner, would I choose someone exactly like myself?”
“If someone knows all I know about myself, would they marry me?” “Do I love myself enough to attract someone for marriage?” “Do I have skills, potentials which I am using in such a way that a man/woman would love to be my partner?” If you are not answering in affirmation to all these questions, then you are not ready and should not venture into marriage, otherwise you would be a huge liability to whoever is unfortunate enough to marry you.
Some people practically hate everything about themselves and yet they want to attract a mate. They hate their physique; their face, head, hair, lips, waist, height, weight and general body shape and they want somebody else to love them. It doesn’t work that way! You must love yourself every bit and then you would find someone who loves you for who you are.
Dear bachelor/spinster, I counsel you as a friend; get married to purpose first! Find out what you were created to do on earth and start doing it. It is while you are fulfilling your God-given purpose that the very right person would come around. You would naturally attract someone who will complement your destiny and you can hardly imagine what exploits you’d do. Marriage is a temporary union for earth but fulfilling your purpose will etch your name in the annals of history.
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